Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Cookie is Done

Every once in a while I am overcome by a need to rant about things no one cares about, and I revive this blog. This is one of those rants. This past month has been amazingly hectic, as have, on the whole, the past two years.

It is nearly a month since I moved to... here. This old new city. Over the last five years, I have collected three experiences of Bangalore, as a chance visitor, a tourist and an eventual resident. The most distinct memory of Bangalore remains its towering trees... I had family in Bangalore, and had always heard of the city's waning beauty, but who knew it would be this charming even in its twilight years. It is still a pleasant change from the two years in Hyderabad, much closer to home.

It is unnerving that we already are halfway into 2016. The latter half of 2015 for me was a sort of sped-up gestation. My March this year, I was desperate to push out into the real world, I was crowning, for lack of a better metaphor, and it hurt. Following my identity mishap / mental crisis four years previously, I had trudged along the shores of five stages of grief --- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, carrying in my heart the expectation of an existential light at the end of the tunnel. What greeted me instead was a clown with pack of tarot cards. It never really ends. That is the meaning of acceptance, the fifth stage. It's growing up.

You will find no more disbelief, no more meaning of life, bargain-ey posts from me. You may find more writing. That is my take-away from two and a half years. 

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