Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Mr. & Mrs. Unwelcome

He squeezes his wobbly bulk through the narrow doorway, an eccentric toothy grin plastered on his face. She follows him closely. She is too busy fidgeting with her outfit to even notice me. With one hand she holds her intricate saree steady while she uses the other to absently fidget with her hairdo, repeatedly running through her hair the stubby fingers, whose nails are adorned with chipped red polish.

"We were in the neighbourhood. Haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, by the way? Decided we would stop by." He mutters as he makes his way to the sofa and plops down into it. I hastily try to clear up the messy table, but he's already managed to grab something. A book. "What is this?" He opens my journal, fetches out his glasses and starts reading. Aloud.

Ignoring her husband, she adds, "Looks like you are busy these days. No time to look after the house, huh?" 

I smile awkwardly, stuffing everything else on the table into my bag.
Mr. & Mrs. Unwelcome have arrived... unannounced.

"Do you want something to drink, maybe?" I mutter, positive that the only that I could offer is water.

"Oh no." He says and continues reading. "I keep thinking of ways to switch off all the thoughts in my head, without even realizing the irony in it..." 

Aw, no, not that. My face flushes with embarrassment and I just look on, helpless, as he reads an entire page of my journal. "It's actually my..." I say, after a while, "...I just write it, you know, for me... it's not exactly supposed to be read by..."

"I didn't think you could write so well." Mr. Unwelcome declares, completely unfazed.

"Gee, thanks." I mutter just as Mrs. Unwelcome hurries into the kitchen. I follow her, confused.

"I just want a glass of water." She says and shoos me out of the room. "I'll take it, you don't have to bother. You two have a good chat, you haven't met in a while."

For an entire second, I attempt to console myself by imagining how worse it would have been, had Mr. & Mrs. Unwelcome had a kid. But then I think of all the things I'd planned for the day, and decide to take some action.

"Well, actually..." I hesitantly announce, "I just have to run a few errands. You know, go to the market and the bookstore. It closes in a half an hour, so I just have to go now! If I'd known you guys were coming..."

"Don't worry! Don't worry!" His voice booms over my journal, which, I notice with utmost displeasure, he still hasn't stopped reading. But Mr. Unwelcome doesn't get up to leave. No. Instead, they both beam at me and he adds, "We'll wait. A half an hour is nothing! You do all your errands, don't let us disturb you!"

"And you'll just wait here?" I cast a doubtful look around the place.

"Sure. We can talk." she says. "Or read" she slyly adds. "I've been also meaning to ask your mother if you've got all the utensils I recommended. I could check it myself! You come back, we'll wait!"

"Wonderful." I say, struggling to maintain the smile on my face. I grab my bag and keys and head out. As I close the door behind me, I catch a glimpse of Mr. Unwelcome pulling himself out of the couch, undoubtedly to explore this hitherto uncharted territory. I can see his pudgy face almost glowing with excitement at the prospect. I sigh and leave.

If only Mr. & Mrs. Unwelcome knew just how unwelcome they were.
If only, like with vampires, I could rescind their invitation.


  1. Brilliant piece of writing!! Who are Mr. and Mrs. Unwelcome I wonder...irritating long distance relatives or those nosy neighbours... ;)

  2. Thanks! I'd rather not elaborate on their identities right here. But I'm sure everyone has their Unwelcomes!!