Sunday, December 16, 2012

Don't you hate parrots?


Image courtesy of tungphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I know what you're thinking. Parrots look adorable, smart, perfect gentlemen, but don't be fooled by their nice appearance. They tend to be quite irritating and often, noisy.

If you don't already know, parrots are known to continuously spew out "facts" with a superior air about them, "facts" they have only heard the other day from someone else. They don't offer explanations or justifications for any of their opinions and the mere shrug that follows every proclamation of knowledge is supposed to suffice as an answer to every polite request for authentication. These parrots are known to say the strangest, most far-fetched things as if they were reciting the multiplication tables. 

They may get and up and announce one day that "Marathi people hate to mix with others." based not in the least on their interaction (or lack thereof) with Marathi people but on someone else's arbitrary assumption. If I wasn't myself Marathi, I would have sincerely ended up believing, after that conversation, that Pune is comprised entirely of narrow-minded servants, maids, children who have quit their education right after school, who only talk to each other and that the city has no cultural scene whatsoever. Just why my feathered friends ardently believed that, I will never know.

You come across parrots in every field. Some are literature fanatics who know, for certain, just how much research went into every book ever published and whether the facts were falsified or the events too fictionalized. You'd think, for a second, that they were walking Encyclopedias, but let me tell you, they are little more than parrots who spend their nights glued to Wikipedia. Others are expert engineers. If you know someone who has dismantled every gadget in your house, much to your dislike, claiming that they could be improved or fixed, keep your binoculars handy - for you've found yourself an excellent specimen of a parrot.

In my observation, parrots seem to surface the most when someone is ill. You see, they somehow have this inbuilt knowledge of medicine that the rest of us don't quite possess. Their diagnosis is spot-on, even when they've only heard a few of the symptoms, they could tell you the causes and the most effective treatments of any disease within a heartbeat. And the curious thing is, they never seem to know just where they found this enlightenment.

They're fascinating creatures, these parrots. And yet, I hate them. Then again, I might just be jealous.

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